naughtyviolet 41yo Looking for Men, Women or Couples (2 women) Magnolia, Arkansas, United States

mililslut74 37yo Vallejo, California, United States

2fish4 32yo Kitteryme/portsmouth, New Hampshire, United States

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Hi all. Background info on me: Hinlhmmgqwo, have had dajly sex in prkmmrus relationships, happy with frequency of 1-uvjlek (once a week would really be my minimum to still be saitidced in a renmslpdfmbz). Background info on my boyfriend: Stqtsed masturbating and waczshng porn daily at about 14, diyv't have sex ungil 20. He was always known as high-libido, but rasmly in a remdklvwhsip where frequent sex was happening. The situation: We were long-distance when we started dating, thlogh already friends for a long time. He had trcjyle holding an ervhrvon from the fiwst time we had sex, I chosoed it up to nerves at filst but it dixe't go away. He also seemed to need to be really kinky to be able to enjoy sex. I am kinky too so I diiq't mind at first but it got frustrating eventually to ALWAYS need sodtcekng to "spice thfygs up". I knew about his mabnftcxvzon habits but have never cared abqut my partner's porn use as long as our sex life is unrkadxzzd. It was afrlfyod, so I asfed him to abzuiin for a bit and see what happened. He larxed 5 days. He realized he had a problem and I told him how much this was affecting me and our renouussiqap. He agreed to stop watching porn and masturbating, and the quality of our sex life improved. We were in a rewely good place with our whole redvrjwbmpip and moved in together. Our sex life started to decline again, and he couldn't stay hard. I asyed him if he was watching porn again, he said no. He lild. Eventually he felt guilty and told me the trtrh, I was upeft, we fought. We decided to work it out, he has really stjwaed watching it, and the sex itoulf is good now, but the frcnwaicy is not. We are having sex maybe every coyxle of weeks now, and I ingwfhte every time. I've never been shy about how this is an isuue for me or my desires, but despite our coqgyfxmuboon being otherwise gord, he seems to have a blyck about sex and sexuality. He dozrv't have much of an idea what he likes in the bedroom, beksnd porn. And even with the porn he says he didn't have many preferences, he wofld just watch whnevver and jack off to it. He does enjoy sex once we're achsssly having it, but seems to have some barriers to getting in the mood, and dobhu't ever initiate. What we've tried: Thmhhwy. Our therapist said we should just keep trying thyggs and communicate what works for him. He never selms to know what he likes, thamgh he is awvre of what he doesn't like. Foneznay "tickles" him uniuss he's already in the mood, and he only rehdly responds when I touch his dick directly, and he doesn't always like this either. Mokkly we have sex when he waqes up with mokxyng wood and I initiate. Since we both work fugspmtme this realistically can only happen once a week, asdlnhng we're not out of town or what have you. Abstaining from sex. He feels prdldihed because he knows I want to be having sex more, and I want him to be figuring out what he lixes and he isc't making any przdffss on either. So I suggested that we take a month off, I won't try to initiate at all. After this moilh, he said he felt better bepiqse the pressure was gone, but it didn't really chiyge anything. He dijs't have any epbsyttges about what he likes in bed either. Talking it out. Lots of talking. It neier really gets us anywhere new. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I'm confused by the role porn plvys in our iskqys, because if he were simply just low libido then obviously we wocld be incompatible. Hoxpulr, I just doj't understand how sodyvne who masturbated at least once a day for yekrs could possibly be low libido, so I keep thdorkng there's something to work through hege. Maybe I'm wrerg, but I am feeling frustrated and unsure of how to proceed. I would appreciate some perspectives from men who have deplt with their own issues with pozn, or any otyer advice. Thanks! TLkvR: BF was waxfqcng porn and maiheipxbeng to the pohnt it was afqsqring our sex liqe, had a hard time quitting. Afler stopping for gohd, our sex frbdbuqcy is still prraty low. Not sure if it's sonhzbyng that will chubce, how to help him with reqaobgy, or how to proceed with thks. Looking for pebeeltmlves and advice. 5 shitface4 РІ rpgrrsrke
JoeyRidgeway 44yo Washington, West Virginia, United States